The Endless Ramblings of Ginerva Weasley
by SteeltoedSiren
Summary: A teenage diary of Ginny W. set in a normal, dark wizard-free, Wizarding World. A slice-of-life journey through her friendships, romantic missteps, sibling rivalries, Quidditch passions, and general nonsensical happenings at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


_**DISCLAIMER** : This fic is a tribute to Louise Rennison. The format is entirely hers, taken from her amazing series, The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. Rest in peace you mad, brilliant woman. Her books kept me alive and smiling through some of my darkest days. I hope my poor excuse for a copy can bring a smile to some of your faces. Enjoy!_

 **Friday July 14th** / **The Burrow** / **10:20 am**

I can hear mum going mental downstairs. She must have found one of the gnomes Fred and George let loose by 'accident' last night. They're always bringing them up to their room. What they do in there with them I'll never know. Even mum's too afraid to venture up. I'd almost feel bad for the little garden suckers if they hadn't taken a chunk of my toe off last summer.

Regardless, mum needs control her temper really. I read somewhere in this week's Witches Weekly that the more stress you have the more likely you are to sprout furry bits, or something. I swear she has two more chin hairs than she did last summer. At this rate she's set for full beardy by the time I graduate.

I think I'll wait on going downstairs for a bit.

 **10:25 am**

Bored. Why do the twins insist on making my home a hostile territory? I had plans to visit town for a bit of music at the muggle café. Muggles really know how to enjoy a heat wave. They sit indoors and suck on iced lattes wrapped in sweaters because their room cooling gizmos are on too high. Or low? High powered, low temperature. Right, well, at least there would be music from this century and glimpses at boys that weren't A. my brothers, or B. ginger. Also refer back to A.

All hope of that is lost now, I assume mum has this place on lockdown until the remaining gnomes are found.

 **11:30 am**

I've read a through a bit more of Witches Weekly and there's an article on Gwenog Jones! There's a moving image of her and her bat connecting with a wicked fast bludger during the Harpy's last match. She's quoted saying, "Swing fast, hit hard, and keep flying forward." What a woman!

 **12:10 pm**

I bet Gwenog didn't have to help her brothers find gnomes in the pantry.

 **1:00 pm**

Owled Luna.

Wrote: Meet me at the Burrow after breakfast tomorrow. We're going into town to practice our lad ogling. x Gin

I had to lure Pigwidgeon in my room with bits of nicked mackerel from the kitchen. I don't know why mum hides them, no one but the owls can keep them down for long.

Speaking of mum, I suppose I have to ask her if I can go out. I don't fancy house arrest for the rest of summer. Or ever. It's like Azkaban in this house, only worse.

 **1:10 pm**

Too dramatic?

 **1:40 pm**

It didn't take long for Luna to reply. The hardest part was getting the letter off of Pig's leg, he kept zooming around and squeaking at the various moving Quidditch players on my wall. I finally got him down with promises of more mackerel.

Luna had scribbled her reply on the back of my letter in a sparkly, orange ink.

It said: I'll bring my red beret. x Luna

 _Béret rouge! C'est excitant!_ I'll have to rummage around my wardrobe for some fab accessories too.

 **2:00 pm**

Hmm, would purple, knee-high boots and a mini skirt be too much?

 **2:30 pm**

Mum's letting me go to into town with Luna!

But only if Ron agrees to go with us. Fat chance that'll happen. I bet mum reckons he'll scare off any potential fit lads that happen to come our way. She's right, too.

"He won't want to go anymore than I want him to go." I reasoned. I've learned to keep a calm and controlled approach when dealing with mum.

"It will be good for you two, you've hardly seen each other all summer." She said, unreasonably.

"I see him everyday, mum." I reminded her gently. Far too much in fact. But I kept it civil.

"No, Ginerva." Her voice strained. "Either get Ron to agree or you're not going at all."

I couldn't help but to huff at that. "What about the twins then?"

"They are not leaving this house until the end of summer." And then she started yelling again. I ask you, what's got her knickers in a twist today?

 **2:40 pm**

Fuming around my room. What is the point of my existence?

 **2:50 pm**

I'll not be asking Ron to go with us.

 **3:00 pm**

Urrgh.

 **3:05 pm**

I banged on Ron's door. "Oi, Ron!" I used his preferred name so as to imply respect and friendship.

"Go away, Ginerva!" Oh, that's nice.

"I'm coming in, get decent." I heard him groan from inside. I waited about 3 seconds before barging in. Ron was sprawled out on his bed reading what appeared to be a Quidditch graphic novel. He stared at me stupidly. I stopped short and wrinkled my nose. "Why does it smell like Auntie Muriel in here?"

It really did. She's got a very distinct smell, something between soured fruit and dead roses. I've always got to sort of dodge her cheek kisses in fear of her breath by hugging her tightly over her face (She's about the height of a goblin so it's not too difficult). Mind you, the smell still is quite apparent, Fred and George have even taken to stuffing bits of napkins way up their noses. If mum found out she'd be lecturing on and on about respecting your elders well into the 21st century. I respectfully gag at the smell of my aunt.

"It doesn't smell." Ron said uncertainty, he glanced to the corner of his desk v suspiciously.

I investigated, obviously. He tried to get up and stop me but got caught up in bed sheets and toppled over. "Ahrg, get out Ginny!" He barked.

"No, I need your help with something." I rummaged around his desk, sifting through the clutter of newspaper clippings of the Chudley Cannons latest blunderings. "You should really keep your room tidy, what if you brought home a nice lass? She'd run out screaming. Mind you that might not be from the clutter at all." I held up a fistfull of empty Honeydukes chocolate wrappings and waved them in his direction.

"What do you want?" He was still untangling himself from his ridiculously orange bed sheets.

"Aha!" I had found the source of the smell. It was easy enough to identify because my nose had started to sting unpleasantly. It was a small, square bottle with a glass stopper. I read the label before he could grab it from me. "Sultry Woodsman: The Macho Wizard in You." I ducked under his arm and kept reading. "Two drops in your tea for maximum irresistible scent." I nearly peed myself then.

He finally snatched it out of my hands and chucked it into his closet. "Are you done yet?" He glared, his face entirely red, which only made me laugh harder. He looked like a cross radish.

I held up a finger between my maniacal laughter. I wiped a tear from my eye. "A cologne potion, Ron? I knew your life was incredibly sad, but I didn't know this much. It smells like someone tried to mask the smell of Bubotuber pus with dad's rose garden, for Merlin's sake!"

"Get. Out." He seethed.

I quickly remembered my important and dutiful purpose here and put on a sobered face. The kind you put on when asking a professor to repeat the question for the second time. You know, the feigned sorry look with mildly pleading eyebrows. "No, wait. I need your help."

"Not after all that." He stomped around like an angry hippogriff. "I'm busy, get out."

I snorted. Ron was never busy with anything. As busy as a baby and a lunar mobile maybe.

He rounded on me. Oops. "You'll benefit too." I said quickly. I was making it up at this point. "Look, please, if you come into town with me tomorrow I'll help you find a cologne that won't repel the fairer sex."

He groaned. "My baby sister is not allowed to say 'sex.'"

I ignored the blatant insult on my blossoming womanhood. "Better yet, I'll find you a cologne, you'll pay for it, but I'll buy you chips for lunch!" Great, I may have played my best card too early. I held my breath.

He perked up at the word 'lunch', maybe there was still hope! I continued… "I wonder if that Sally lady still works there. With the twins busy serving time, you'll be the centre of her attention." Sally was a muggle in her late teens whom seemed to capture the attention of most of my brothers. Not that I ever wanted to think about my brother's fantasies, but I knew they were quite keen on her. Ronald in particular. I suspect it's due to his suppressed hormones. Erlack!

"Why do you want me to go anyways?" He asked suspiciously.

At this point I knew he'd caught on to my game, but he still seemed to be considering it. At least, he wasn't still trying to shove me out onto the landing. I decided to just lay it out to him straight. "Alright, truth: Mum won't let me go with Luna unless you chaperone."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine."

YESSSS.

"But I'm not going to babysit you two, so you'd better behave." He nodded wisely like he thought he was Merlin himself.

Me behave? As if he wasn't going to waggle his tongue disturbingly at the poor muggle gal the entire trip and then mope around when he didn't have the marbles to go up and talk to her. But I held my tongue for the 80th time during this tiring conversation. "Oh, thank you, Merlin!"

"Thank me, not Merlin."

"I knew you'd come through!" I gave him a one-armed hug and held a hand over my breast. "You won't regret it, dear brother."

He went back to his bed and started flicking through this graphic novel, his idea of busy. After a few moments he stared pointedly at me, as if he expected me to go on my way.

"Why do you want an 'irresistible scent' anyways?"

I slammed the door shut before the pillow he chucked at me could make contact.

 **A/N** : I'll be updating about once a week. Reviews much appreciated!


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